Losing Your S**t Is Weak
Losing Your S**t Is Weak
In leadership—and in life—taking ownership often starts with one simple but powerful act: controlling your emotions. Especially when things go wrong.
It’s easy to confuse anger with authority. Raised voices, slammed doors, and sharp words might create short-term compliance. But that’s not leadership. That’s losing control. And over time, it costs you trust, respect, and connection.
Anger Might Win the Moment—But It Loses the Long Game
Yes, an emotional outburst might force action. It might get people to follow your instructions. But it rarely earns buy-in, and it almost always damages relationships.
At Kaizen Summit, we believe leadership is about long-term effectiveness. And that demands discipline over emotion. When you lose your temper, you show weakness, not strength. You hand over control to the situation—when your job is to remain calm and lead through it.
This speaks directly to the Kaizen Pillar of Structured Guidance. Leadership isn’t reactive. It’s measured, deliberate, and composed—even when pressure is high.
Self-Control: A Sign of Strength
The principle is timeless. Over two thousand years ago, it was said that a person who controls their spirit is stronger than one who takes a city.
This isn’t about suppression. It’s about discipline. You may feel frustrated, provoked, or disrespected—but leadership means choosing your response. That doesn’t come naturally to most of us. It takes effort. Practice. Awareness. But it’s a skill that can be developed.
One of the ways we build this is by detaching. Step back. Breathe. Look at the situation from the outside, not through the fog of emotion. That small pause can change the entire outcome of a conversation, a decision—or a relationship.
Leadership Means De-escalation, Not Dominance
When someone else loses their s**t, your job is not to match their energy. Your job is to remain steady. Calm is contagious. So is chaos.
At a recent event, we spoke with a foreman frustrated about giving feedback to younger workers. “They’re too soft,” he said. “You can’t shout at them like we were shouted at.”
When asked if he liked being shouted at, he paused. “Not really,” he admitted. And that realisation opened the door to a better way: feedback that gets results without emotional force. Feedback grounded in clarity, not control.
This is the Kaizen Pillar of Continuous Improvement in action. Leadership is about learning—especially from what doesn’t work.
For Action: Use the Day to Train
This week, don’t avoid frustration. Use it. When someone cuts you off in traffic, when a teammate misses a deadline, when things don’t go to plan—see it as training.
Detach. Choose your response. Stay composed.
This discipline doesn’t just improve your leadership. It strengthens your relationships, sharpens your judgement, and sets the tone for those around you.
True leadership starts with self-leadership. Control yourself. Influence others. And win with composure.
